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Perfectionist Assumptions, Illusions, and Someday Thinking

I had an interesting conversation with another musician friend the other day, she said that she loved listening to my podcast over and over, and that she gained new insights with each listen.

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It struck me that there are layers to this work and to the things I’m teaching here on the podcast. Our brains change every day, every week, and so it makes sense how we see things on a deeper level with repetition.

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She said she wanted to start a podcast but was too scared and we talked about how it is a big deal, putting your voice and your ideas out there, but it’s worth it.

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And all of this led to the topic of perfectionism. This is something I coach myself on a lot, both as a musician, as a mother wanting to be the best mom I can be, and with body image. I see it in my clients as a life coach as well, how prone we are to perfectionism and so I want to share these lessons I’ve learned with you today.

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I remember reading Chip and Joanna Gaines first book, the Magnolia Story, and...

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Give Yourself Permission

I’ve been mulling this topic over for some time now because of how often I see women telling themselves No, telling themselves that it’s not okay to give themselves permission.

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This is really about how women are socially primed to prioritize other people’s opinions over their own. Ā Ā 

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And whenever I bring this up with clients, the minute we start talking about it, there’s the resistance – the belief that if we put our own ideas and opinions in the forefront over others, then we’ll be perceived as selfish. If we give ourselves permission, then we’ll turn into jerks and have kind of a ā€˜screw you’ mentality.

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No. This is not how it has to go. It is not an either/or discussion about whether you are selfish or whether you are altruistic. It’s about giving yourself permission to be both whenever you decide to – simply because you believe in your ability to be your own authority.

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Most of us on default are doing the opposite, giving our personal authority away to other people ...

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Clean Pain Vs. Dirty Pain

Podcast Transcript:

Friends, This one is a good one, I’m not going to hold back. I’m going to talk to you about this topic as though I were talking to my best friend. I’ll be sharing some very personal information, so heads up, there is some sensitive material I’ll be sharing.

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I have a lot of goodness to unpack and if there was one concept I wish I would have known about when I was younger, it would be this one: the difference between clean pain and dirty pain.

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And this is such a powerful concept, it’s so important, I made a booklet for you that you can download as a resource if you want to walk through the steps I’m going to teach you today. You can use this booklet and journal about whatever it is that is needing some loving care and attention in your life, in your heartspace if you will, and you can do the work of cleaning up some dirty pain with the help of this booklet.

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Go to Danielle Vaughn coaching dot com and on the podcast page, there will be a link under this ...

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You Are Already Worthy

Episode 14 – You are Already Worthy

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Friends, I want to talk to you about something that a lot of women don’t believe. And it’s simply this. You are already worthy. You have a voice and a light and a brain and a heart, and so you have something special and you are already worthy.

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Do you believe that?

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You don’t have to lose weight to be worthy. You don’t have to look a certain way to be worthy. You don’t have to have children who follow the straight and narrow in order to be worthy. You don’t have to be married to be worthy. You don’t have to get the degree. You don’t have to make more money. You don’t have to hustle.

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You are already worthy.

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Do you know how I know that?

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Because God said so.

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And God doesn’t lie.

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Over the last year as I’ve built my coaching practice, as I’ve had the privilege of working with hundreds of women now, I am still in awe and amazement at how diverse every person I come across has something beautiful to offer and it’s complet...

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Choosing Faith When in Crisis

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Do you know how to navigate a crisis when life throws you its inevitable curve balls? What about fear and doubt?

It takes a lot of mental resilience, emotion regulation and redirection to navigate difficult times in such a way where you can look back and say that you handled the crisis well versus not showing up the way you wish you could have.

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Whether you are a person of faith or not, I think that articulating my thought process while navigating the darkness will give you some ideas on how to navigate your own trials or crises when needed.

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Ever since I was a little girl, I have had a belief in God

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And – even so, I have a lot of doubtful thinking.

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When I was little, from the time my mother died, I started talking to God and I haven’t stopped since, because I hear a voice that talks to me, and it doesn’t sound like my own, but it has a loving familiarity to it, and it’s like a conversation that goes back and forth. And so I know how to hear him. I just do.

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In ...

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Acres of Diamonds

How to Cultivate More Happiness on Purpose During the Holidays

I want to offer to you one of my most powerful tools that get me back to a sense of trusting myself, feeling grounded, and just enjoying where I’m at and enjoying other people for who they are. This is about generating more belief in yourself that you already have inside of you what you need in order to create what you want, going into the holiday season.

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You don’t have to be afraid that you’ll blow it with your health goals or with the foods you love, or with relationships with extended family that may have felt a little strained in the past.

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A potential pit fall that could make this holiday season a little more difficult, is living in a ā€œgood old daysā€ kind of mentality, especially right now, 2020 feels like a setback in circumstances for many of us, and we’re wishing for ā€œthe good old daysā€ when we could do all the things we were doing, when the world was different.

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And one of my students in the Dare Grea...

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Hero of her Story

Mother/Daughter Relationships Can Be Complex

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I coach a lot of brave, growth warrior mamas in my coaching practice. Some of us feel like we are reinventing the wheel so to speak with how to move through motherhood and have healthy relationships with our grown, young-adult daughters.

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It’s very different these days for our young adult daughters than it was for us as mothers fifteen, twenty years ago. It is more difficult to truly Launch and figure out Adulting.

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And so, the question becomes; how to establish an adult relationship with our young adults, in such a way where you can feel more connected and ultimately have the relationship that you want moving forward?

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Often times, mothers and daughters are still working through outdated ideas of how mothers ā€˜should be’ and how daughters ā€˜should be.’  I think the ā€˜shoulds’ we place on ourselves and on other people, especially on our daughters, can really get in the way for true connection and authenticity in our relationship...

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Gratitude for my Mentors

Gratitude for my Mentors

I want to speak to the power of having gratitude for good Mentors in your life.Ā  The impact of a good mentor can be a real game-changer for the trajectory of the path you take.

Today, I’m going to speak to five lessons I learned from five mentors who’ve given me some amazing gifts. I’m hoping that these gifts, these lessons, will inspire you to identify your mentors, and to think of ways you too can be a mentor for the people in your life. Also, to keep looking and learning from new mentors along the way. We are never too old for learning from people.Ā 

1.Ā Ā You can do anything you put your mind to

This lesson came from my grandmother.Ā  We were really close growing up. She had a gift for always seeing the good in people, and I have her to thank for seeing the good in me – even when I made mistakes – and I made some pretty big ones while growing up. Even through the mistakes, she loved me the best anyway. And she always saw the good.

I was able to have a...

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Anxiety and Politics

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Anxiety and Politics

Today, I want to speak to you about anxiety and politics.Ā  I want speak to the collective anxiety most of us have been feeling towards this year’s presidential election, the outcome, and how this year has felt different than any other year for most of us who can remember presidential elections over the decades. Yes, decades. I’ve been alive for four decades now, almost five, and I feel like this election year has been like no other.

Whether you follow politics closely, or whether you choose not to, and no matter which way you wanted this election to go, I’m going to address the anxiety that I’ve been helping many of my clients work through, especially the young adults I work with. I can see that our younger generations, our teens and young adults, are looking the older generation, for answers. Ā I want to give you some ideas of how to help your loved ones deal with anxiety and politics right now.

What do we do when the world isn’t behaving the way we want...

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Intuitive Eating 101

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Intuitive Eating

Intuitive Eating is such a game changer. I could geek out on the subject of Intuitive Eating all day long.Ā  I love teaching these principles and getting this work out into the world. You are going to be so glad you learned about Intuitive Eating today.Ā  Let’s get started with the basics:Ā 

What is intuitive eating?Ā 

I get a lot of questions about what intuitive eating is.Ā  I want to answer your questions, and speak to what it is not.

Intuitive Eating is an approach to food that helps you find mind/body/food peace.Ā  You can find this again after you’ve been a chronic dieter and are confused about what to eat, how to eat, when to eat, in order to weight balance or live in such a way that works for you.Ā 

Eveyin Tribole and Elyse Resch describe intuitive eating so perfectly in their book, Intuitive Eating, 4th Edition.Ā  They define intuitive eating this way;

ā€œIt is ā€œa compassionate, self-care eating framework that treats all bodies with dignity and respect.ā€

In...

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