I want to teach to this idea that your life is a work of art. You already are an artist, and you might not even know it yet. Did you know that? And my intention right now in the series is to teach what Julia Cameron teaches in her book, The Artist’s Way - which is a book that changed my life. I highly recommend this book to my clients who are musicians, to my young-adults clients who are in music programs in college.
And Julia Cameron is very open about sharing her ideas to whoever will listen, she ascribes to the principle, “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” And that’s what I’m hoping to facilitate, helping you give yourself permission to allow your inner artist to come alive again.
I say again, because Children are natural at allowing their inner artist to lead the way. The reason we label childhood so magical is because we know it is a time when we are allowed to be free with our imaginations, and to explore new...
I don’t think life is supposed to be easy.
I know the only way to grow is to face our challenges, but to be able to do so with some courage instead of doubting we have what it takes. And I don’t think we have to suffer through our challenges - we can doubt if we have what it takes to thrive, or we can choose to believe Yes, I have everything I need to face my challenges and even grow in my identity and confidence. And I think the way to do that is to embrace mental and emotional tools and strategies that you can take with you into your day-to-day.
I want to talk about Givers and Takers. And this is a concept my dad taught me growing up. And the way he explained it, there are two kinds of people, Givers and Takers. And he’d give me this talk when he noticed I was in Taker mode, probably being selfish as a teenager, but the talk was very effective to me, and I’m so glad he’d take the time to teach me this concept.
I want to speak to all my friends in the messy middle of raising children, or in the messy middle of mid-life, and speak to this idea, what if we are only just beginning?
It might feel like a stretch.
It did for me at first. I mean, I have five decades under my belt now! And I feel it in my body. And it shows on my face. There are battle wounds.
But what if. . . .I am only just beginning my friend? And what if YOU are only just beginning, even though you’ve already done so much and have made it this far?
I want to talk about this idea that we can always choose to decide how to think about our lives as they stretch onward ahead of us, we can think of them as a fresh, clean slate full of possibility. We can have a fresh, clean start when we’re fifty years old on a Tuesday afternoon. Or we can have a fresh, clean start when we’re 38 on a Thursday evening.
Do you allow yourself to think of your life as only just beginning?
My daughter, she’s 22 and...
My son has a rare disease called Usher Syndrome - he is gradually going deaf and blind - it’s been hard to see his hearing and his eyesight decline in his adolescence, and he’s been struggling socially, since friendships with his friends from younger years have shifted as he’s entered high school, he doesn’t feel like he can keep up in normal conversations, how fast paced they are, he often has to ask people to repeat themselves.
And I’m giving some context here because he’s found online gaming as a fun way to use his headphones and talk and laugh and hear everything people say. Plus he’s good at it.
I spend a lot of time actively praying for my children and asking and listening for guidance. I’ve talked about prayer on the podcast before, but with Joseph, I knew I needed to let Joseph keep his love of video games, but guide him, but not be too controlling about it. And it went against everything I had previously thought about video...
Making room for grace, the concept I’m teaching applies to anything you are going after, whether it’s a goal, a dream, or something you want to turn around and make improvements on in your life, something you might be worried about. Making room for grace is a beautiful way to approach the possibility of change for the future.
So, on to what I want to talk about today, which is about making room for grace. When I make room for grace in my parenting, it’s easier to help my kids own their own results versus trying to control my kids because I’m worried about their choices. And this is something I have been thinking about for a LONG time, especially because I think I’ve told you before, I have some head-strong kids. So I had to learn early on how to enjoy parenting more. It all felt so out of my control. I didn’t like how that felt when my kids were little. I felt at the mercy of their choices. If they made good choices, then life was peaceful...
Let’s talk about what is going on in the world from a bigger standpoint, and how to talk to our kids about tricky things.
This last week, it’s May of 2022 at the time of this recording, a tragedy occurred in Texas, another school shooting. And it hurts my heart so much to think of the families affected, the parents, the friends of the children, the community, and how to talk to our kids about these kinds of things. I want to give you some practical tips you can apply, and if you aren’t on my email newsletter, go to my website, danielle vaughn coaching dot com, and sign up so you can receive the printables and the scripts and PDF’s I share with my subscribers. I try to pack my emails with usable tools you can apply - - I’m really intentional about that.
My goal is to give you some strategies, even some question prompts and scripts to work through with your kids to help them build some resilience skills and distress...
Have you ever wondered, when you see another person upset, “what the heck do I say right now?” or “this is so awkward!” Do you wonder how to draw a quiet, withdrawn teenager out of their shell and get them to talk to you more, to open up to you if there’s distance in the relationship? Do you wonder “why doesn't my child listen to me?”
When your partner is upset or hurting - and you want to help but you’re so worried about the problem you don’t even know what to say and everything you DO say seems to be the wrong thing?
Or what about when your spouse is having a hard time, say it’s a problem at work, and you know the solution, but the more you offer suggestions, the more frustrating the conversation becomes?
The #1 reason even the most “well-intended” conversations can fall flat - and it has to do with the role we are taking on in the moment we are witnessing a loved one having a hard time.
We have a sense deep inside that we are capable of more. It can feel exciting and overwhelming. And the truth is, we will never in this lifetime reach our full capacity. So there’s always a gap between our current abilities, or where we see room for improvement, there will always be a gap.
So how do we bridge that gap in a way that feels fun instead of futile, like you’re endlessly chasing a moving target?
We will only know how by choosing to take the next step we see in front of us, by choosing to engage, trying new things and setting bigger goals and believing that growth can be fun.
So you may not even know what I’m talking about with personal growth actually being fun, if you’re anything like I was, I want to say, back in my twenties. I remember being in the thick of my music degree, there was a semester when my music scholarship was hanging by a thread, and I was NOT enjoying my growth goals. All I could see in front of me was the gap. And I...
Every mom I work with has her own version of Mom Guilt, being all too aware of what we wish we did better in parenting.
The goal of this post is to help you Escape the Mom Guilt Trap, and it will be really good for empty-nesters to read.
It’s going to be good for moms of kids of all ages, but some of you have been asking me, are there specific ways I recommend to stop worrying about the things I did wrong as a mom, I know I did the best I could with what I had, but I seem to still feel guilty and what am I supposed to do with that?
And the reason I say this is a good one is because I actually wrote it specifically with a few friends in mind who are empty nesters, who I have the privilege of coaching, and we’ve cultivated the Three truths I’m sharing with you today. They are powerful truths. And honestly, I wish I would have known them sooner. So I’m excited to share them with you.
Before I do, I want to make sure that you know that as we near...
Is it just me or do you ever feel like you have such talented kids but tend to feel a little intimidated by them?
Today I want to talk to all my moms of talented, intelligent kids. Especially if your child’s talent or intelligence is a little intimidating. And even for those of you that no longer have kids in the home, you don’t need to tune out. This is still going to be very relevant to you.
I love all the people who support parents in their roles. I love anyone that teaches parents how to enjoy it more, and how to help their children thrive. But it’s especially powerful to me when I hear somebody speaking to parents of talented, intelligent kids because I’ve noticed a lot of us as parents these days, we see the light and the intelligence our kids have, and we are amazed by our kids, and we want them to have high self-esteem, but we also can feel a little intimidated with how to help them thrive. Do you relate? And I want to...
In this mini course, I'll take you through the Emotion Coaching framework that is a gamechanger for cultivating more peace. Plus you'll discover how to shift the 'frustration habit' and parent from a place of trusting yourself more.
In this free mini course, I'll take you through the Emotion Coaching framework I've taught hundreds of moms and dads for cultivating more peace. Plus you'll discover how to shift the 'frustration habit' and parent from a place of trusting yourself more.