Welcome to Part 2 of a 3 Part Series on Parenting. My hope in writing about these fundamentals is to help set you up for more self-trust and confidence and enjoy your motherhood journey more.

I've been intrigued by the concept of Motivation ever since I was a little girl with my piano practicing and later with my music teaching studio.

A personal story

I was told my whole life I am 'talented, gifted at music,' etc., and while it felt good to be told those things, it also built some anxiety inside of me if I didn't perform well.

I started competing in piano competitions in the fifth grade. At first, it was fun because I won all the time. It was easy. I was praised a lot by my teacher and my parents and my grandmother. I loved all the attention, and I loved those ribbons and special certificates. One of my piano judges wrote the words, "I can tell you mean business when you sit down to play the piano..." and I took those words to heart. I loved getting praise.

But somewhere in the e...

Hello my friends. How are you doing? Are you doing fine? Doin’ okay? I’ve noticed we all tend to say those very vague and generic things when we aren’t really doing fine or okay - and I understand why we answer that way - but today, if someone were to ask me how I’m feeling, I would say ‘bittersweet - oh what a treat.’ and then I would grin and my eyes might get a little watery, they might well up a little bit with tears, or they might not, because I really am swimming in the bittersweet emotion lately.

We just dropped my son off for his two year mission - he’ll be serving in a foreign country if all goes smoothly - and this is kind of a big deal, right? 

Just before we said our final goodbye, he reached down and gave me a huge hug, he gives the best hugs, and he’s a full twelve inches taller than I am, with long and strong arms, he said, “I love you mom, you are the best mom, thank you for getting me here and for helping make this happen for me. I’ll miss you so much.” 

I’ve been mulling this topic over for some time now because of how often I see women telling themselves No, telling themselves that it’s not okay to give themselves permission.

This is really about how women are socially primed to prioritize other people’s opinions over their own.   

And whenever I bring this up with clients, the minute we start talking about it, there’s the resistance – the belief that if we put our own ideas and opinions in the forefront over others, then we’ll be perceived as selfish. If we give ourselves permission, then we’ll turn into jerks and have kind of a ‘screw you’ mentality.

No. This is not how it has to go. It is not an either/or discussion about whether you are selfish or whether you are altruistic. It’s about giving yourself permission to be both whenever you decide to – simply because you believe in your ability to be your own authority.

Most of us on default are doing the opposite, giving our personal authority away to other people ...