Choosing Faith When in Crisis

 

Do you know how to navigate a crisis when life throws you its inevitable curve balls? What about fear and doubt?

It takes a lot of mental resilience, emotion regulation and redirection to navigate difficult times in such a way where you can look back and say that you handled the crisis well versus not showing up the way you wish you could have.

 

Whether you are a person of faith or not, I think that articulating my thought process while navigating the darkness will give you some ideas on how to navigate your own trials or crises when needed.

 

Ever since I was a little girl, I have had a belief in God

 

And – even so, I have a lot of doubtful thinking.

 

When I was little, from the time my mother died, I started talking to God and I haven’t stopped since, because I hear a voice that talks to me, and it doesn’t sound like my own, but it has a loving familiarity to it, and it’s like a conversation that goes back and forth. And so I know how to hear him. I just do.

 

In fact, in my coaching practice, I help my clients trust their inner voice, and slow down enough to really tap into that loving space within, it is so important to be able to hear that voice.

 

We all have different ways of hearing it. But there are some common threads to this ability, I’ve noticed.

 

The most important thing for me is to doubt my doubts. I think that doubt is a huge stumbling block for so many of us, whether it’s self-doubt, or god-doubt, as I like to call it.

 

God-doubt means that you don’t believe he really does love you, or that he knows about you, or that he cares about you – and that you are on your own in life.

 

I see zero upside to having God-doubt, but I fully understand why it’s a thing.

 

I went through some tough years in my twenties where I decided to live from a place of God-doubt.

 

I could have saved myself a lot of pain if I would have navigated our infertility years with a little more faith and less doubt.

 

Here’s what I found, looking back on the other side of those years: When we develop faith with a purposeful approach, we open ourselves up to an actual life-force, an energy that sustains us and helps us do more than we can do on our own.

 

Faith channels into us a certain power that can rejuvenate and sustain us through crisis in such a way where we come out stronger on the other side of it.

 

I know this to be true.

 

But doubt can block this flow of power. And so, when we are skeptical, we put ourselves outside of the circle of this energy. If you refuse to accept the validity of this power, or deny the truth of the reality and power of God, then you are limiting yourself.

 

And so to me, since I know this first hand, the value of achieving the absence of doubt and going on to success in practicing faith, is important to me to hone as a skill.

 

Going back to the common threads to this ability, I’ve learned that I have to do these three things at the very least.

 

And I’ve done all three multiple times throughout the days this week.

 

The main common threads I see are:

 

• A willingness to take the time and slow down and be still. This is absolutely fundamental to tapping into the source. For me, it means journaling and writing down all my thoughts onto paper. I don’t edit my thinking when I do this. I get it all out, all the doubts, all the anger, and some of it is laughable almost, how immature and mad and kind of tantrum sounding I can be. But for me, this is a crucial step.
• Then, after it’s on paper, I go back and read it and just see how my thinking is going from an observer point of view. I try to just remain neutral as I look back over what I’ve written, but that’s not always easy. Sometimes I see that I’m being pretty silly and I don’t like when what I’ve written looks like I’m being a Victim. Even so, it’s important that I don’t judge what I’ve written. If I judge it, then my true feelings will go into hiding and I don’t want that. I want to create a lot of awareness of what I’m really afraid of, what I’m really thinking and feeling.
• After I see it and I can be neutral with is I start to work with it with God. And so I want to walk through some of my thinking this past week. Again, my hope is to give you some ideas of how to walk through your own hardships.

 

So here goes: Here’s how my thinking went this last week while navigating my husband's stroke and hospitalization:

 

The first obvious thinking I became aware of:

• Ethan doesn’t deserve this. He’s the last person who deserves this.
• I don’t know what’s going to happen with our finances.
• I can’t go through life without my best friend.
• Ethan’s personality could change and that will be hard.
• Our medical bills are going to be insane.
• I already have so much on my plate and now this.

 

And there are a lot more thoughts but I’ll just share those for now.

 

Here’s the thing about all of those thoughts, once I saw them on paper, I saw how they are mostly based on the unknown – how they are projecting worst case scenarios, how they are scarcity driven, and how they are all putting me into a very disempowered place with trying to predict the future. I also noticed they are all based in a lack of trust.

 

And of course I’m thinking all of those thoughts, right?

 

And so my most dominant feelings based on that thinking are fear, overwhelm, anxiety and dread – just downright fear.

 

If I chose to just kind of stay there and hang tight in those thoughts, then I notice I don’t get a lot accomplished with being able to help my children right now, with making plans for the day to day, and with showing up the way I want to show up for myself and my loved ones.

 

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way I was initially thinking for those first few days. I needed to go there and to allow all the fears to come to the surface. But even so, I felt a pull to move towards some more productive emotions; like determination, capable, productive, grounded, and trusting, and my personal favorite, faith.

 

I’m a very critical thinker by nature. And so I’ve learned how these two traits of mine, talking to God and being a critical thinker can go hand-in-hand. 

 

For me, I have to take the time to look at my core fears being played upon this last week, and then I asked myself and I asked God how I can navigate this crisis with more useful emotion day to day?

 

And it’s taken me a few days to settle on the Thoughts I want to help carry me through this crisis, but I want to share them with you because it is the type of thinking I want to step into the energy of, to operate from, so I can show up as a version of myself that will be most helpful to my husband right now and my kids right now, as well as myself. It’s just really important to me to navigate the next few weeks and months in such a way where I do my best.

 

So the thinking that came to me as I prayed and asked for insight from God, to help me move from fear to faith are:

 

• I am determined to create an atmosphere of love in our home.
• I trust the Lord with all my heart.
• I am capable of taking care of today in the here and now.
• God is with me every step of the way and he is helping us even though I can’t see Him with my natural eyes.
• As I stay close to God, I will not be overwhelmed.
• He calms the wind and the waves within and leads me to the promised land.
• Peace be still, and know that I am God.

 

And so what I’m learning about faith over fear, is that we have the power to redirect our minds. This is what people of faith do when they feel fear.

 

I’ve heard it said that faith and fear cannot exist at the same time. Maybe that is true for some, but in my experience, they absolutely are existing at the same time, it’s just that I have a choice in what I’m going to give my mental attention to, and which thoughts I’m going to listen to.

 

This ability gets a little easier with practice. At first, it feels a little fake almost. But as I keep practicing faith directed thinking, it starts to feel more accessible and believable and real.

 

What’s interesting about it, is the faith thinking can go right out the window when the core fears are triggered again, which is exactly what happened yesterday when my husband had slurred speech again, while a good friend of his was visiting him in the hospital.

 

His friend called me and said that Ethan might be having a second stroke, the trauma team was working with him again and it was a super scary moment.

 

My mind went straight to my original thoughts:

• Ethan doesn’t deserve this. He’s the last person who deserves this.
• I don’t know what’s going to happen with our finances.
• I can’t go through life without my best friend.
• Ethan’s personality could change and that will be hard.
• Our medical bills are going to be insane.
• I already have so much on my plate and now this.

 

All of those same thoughts came up even louder, only this second time, there were added expletives which I won’t share with you on the podcast.

 

But yeah, they came up louder and stronger, and I felt like I was spiraling down this abyss again.

 

And so honestly, I’m just letting myself spiral and seeing where the fall takes me, where I land with all the fear thinking.

 

I’m not telling myself:

 

• I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts.
• Where is your faith Danielle, a faithful person wouldn’t be thinking this way

 

I just let myself think all the scary thoughts and feel all the scary feelings.

 

I also have a strong tendency to play out in my mind best case scenarios and worst case scenarios in rapid fire succession. And since I know this about myself, I’ve learned it’s important to give myself the space and quiet to play those scenarios out for a little while and see where they go.

 

If I don’t allow myself to do that, then the fears get louder and the worst case scenarios  start to compete for attention even stronger than the best case scenarios.

 

So, it’s like this, if I don’t give the worst case scenario / and I have to say, the worst case scenarios have a kind of toddler voice to them, it can sound like toddler tantrum thinking – and if I don’t give it some attention, the toddler will just get louder. I need to acknowledge the tantrum and slow down and say:

 

 

• I hear you and it’s okay to be afraid.
• We’ll get through this, but for now, what is it you need?

 

I used to avoid this kind of care and attention with my toddler self, and I used to tell myself that I was being silly and to kind of buckleup buttercup.

 

But I don’t do this so much anymore.

 

I’ve noticed that for my personality, some nurturing and some acceptance go a long way.

 

After I give some space and time to my toddler thinking, then I’m able to move back into my intentional thinking and to ask God to give me the strength and capacity to resonate in some more useful emotions.

 

My goal for navigating this crisis, my husband’s stroke and his recovery, is to fuel my actions from the emotions of faith, trust, determination, capable, and productive.

 

I don’t want to shut down and indulge in a victim mentality.

 

There is a strong pull to do so.

 

And when that pull presents itself, I’m just going to notice it and not judge it at all. I’m going to notice, and feel and then deal with it from a place of faith versus fear.

 

And so, today I wanted to share with you how I’m doing that, how I have done that this past week.

 

I know that moving forward, I’m going to have to repeat the thinking that I’ve landed on that is helping me through right now. I’m going to have to keep returning to these thoughts. I really love These thoughts right now, the energy they create within my heart space, they are what have come to me through my prayers and journaling and taking the time to be intentional with navigating this crisis:

 

• I am determined to create an atmosphere of love in our home.
• I trust the Lord with all my heart.
• I am capable of taking care of today in the here and now.
• God is with me every step of the way and he is helping us even though I can’t see Him with my natural eyes.
• As I stay close to God, I will not be overwhelmed.
• He calms the wind and the waves within and leads me to the promised land.
• Peace be still, and know that I am God.

 

 

I hope this gives you some ideas of how to move through fear and cultivate more faith with what you are facing right now, whatever it is, if you are in the middle of a hardship, or not, you can come back to this episode and practice these steps in your own way and find some grounded energy that will serve you well.

 

I appreciate all of you my friends. Thank you for being part of my Dare Greatly community. If you need some extra care and support with your own personal challenges, reach out for some coaching.  Or join the newsletter here. I am here to support you through.

 

Have a beautiful week,

Danielle  xoxo