I’ve been mulling this topic over for some time now because of how often I see women telling themselves No, telling themselves that it’s not okay to give themselves permission.

This is really about how women are socially primed to prioritize other people’s opinions over their own.   

And whenever I bring this up with clients, the minute we start talking about it, there’s the resistance – the belief that if we put our own ideas and opinions in the forefront over others, then we’ll be perceived as selfish. If we give ourselves permission, then we’ll turn into jerks and have kind of a ‘screw you’ mentality.

No. This is not how it has to go. It is not an either/or discussion about whether you are selfish or whether you are altruistic. It’s about giving yourself permission to be both whenever you decide to – simply because you believe in your ability to be your own authority.

Most of us on default are doing the opposite, giving our personal authority away to other people ...