Let’s talk about what is going on in the world from a bigger standpoint, and how to talk to our kids about tricky things.
This last week, it’s May of 2022 at the time of this recording, a tragedy occurred in Texas, another school shooting. And it hurts my heart so much to think of the families affected, the parents, the friends of the children, the community, and how to talk to our kids about these kinds of things. I want to give you some practical tips you can apply, and if you aren’t on my email newsletter, go to my website, danielle vaughn coaching dot com, and sign up so you can receive the printables and the scripts and PDF’s I share with my subscribers. I try to pack my emails with usable tools you can apply - - I’m really intentional about that.
My goal is to give you some strategies, even some question prompts and scripts to work through with your kids to help them build some resilience skills and distress...
Every mom I work with has her own version of Mom Guilt, being all too aware of what we wish we did better in parenting.
The goal of this post is to help you Escape the Mom Guilt Trap, and it will be really good for empty-nesters to read.
It’s going to be good for moms of kids of all ages, but some of you have been asking me, are there specific ways I recommend to stop worrying about the things I did wrong as a mom, I know I did the best I could with what I had, but I seem to still feel guilty and what am I supposed to do with that?
And the reason I say this is a good one is because I actually wrote it specifically with a few friends in mind who are empty nesters, who I have the privilege of coaching, and we’ve cultivated the Three truths I’m sharing with you today. They are powerful truths. And honestly, I wish I would have known them sooner. So I’m excited to share them with you.
Before I do, I want to make sure that you know that as we near...
Is it just me or do you ever feel like you have such talented kids but tend to feel a little intimidated by them?
Today I want to talk to all my moms of talented, intelligent kids. Especially if your child’s talent or intelligence is a little intimidating. And even for those of you that no longer have kids in the home, you don’t need to tune out. This is still going to be very relevant to you.
I love all the people who support parents in their roles. I love anyone that teaches parents how to enjoy it more, and how to help their children thrive. But it’s especially powerful to me when I hear somebody speaking to parents of talented, intelligent kids because I’ve noticed a lot of us as parents these days, we see the light and the intelligence our kids have, and we are amazed by our kids, and we want them to have high self-esteem, but we also can feel a little intimidated with how to help them thrive. Do you relate? And I want to...
I recently flew out to Boston to be with my daughter for spring break, and we had an amazing time, I took my youngest son with me, and my daughter in college - she showed us all of her favorite little spots with yummy food and book stores and Japanese clothing shops, so fun.
On the plane ride home, I sat by a gentleman who asked me what I do for a living when I got my laptop out and started writing - I told him I’m a life coach and I help women love being a mom.
It just popped out of my mouth.
I don’t think I’ve ever introduced my work like that before.
And he asked me, I could tell he was going to be a talker, dang it, but he asked me how I did that? And I said - moms come to me for coaching with problems they’re facing, especially the teens these days, - and I help them solve those problems.
I told him how I always tie a coaching session into a true principle about human behavior, and...
I’m looking forward to teaching you about a valid theory in the psychology world I think every parent needs to know. I learned about Attachment Theory in my marriage and family studies degree, my first thought was: wow, we all mess up our children. Dang. But I’ve since built upon that initial response and want to share the insights from it, and how it can help you in your relationships to understand why you are the way you are, and why other people are the way they are.
Based on our childhoods, how we were nurtured, and based on our temperaments, we developed what I call trust templates, which is just in simple terms, your default programming with your ability to trust. Sometimes, our trust templates need some attention and updating.
I think of it a little bit like remodeling a home, which I personally love to do. I love to update and paint, knock down walls, open things up, just tweak things so it feels more functional and...
First off, I want to say, Thank you for trusting me with your teenagers. I love them. Ya'all have amazing humans you've been raising!
I've noticed a couple of things:
They're in a hurry to feel better, fast.
A common theme that keeps coming up is to slow down.
It's okay to slow down.
Because we need to pay attention to ourselves.
We need to understand why we don’t feel good.
That's where I come in with the coaching. I help people slow down.
I help them pause, notice what they're thinking and I hold the space for them to stay with the unrest inside of them long enough to process it.
Why we in such a hurry all the damn time? (scuze my french si vous plait).
The goal isn’t to feel better fast. The goal is to feel now. Even when it's inconvenient.
Especially when it's inconvenient.
Or else we get all anxious and stuff.
We ultimately end up feeling better by allowing all our feelings.
The positive and the negative.
Teens face A LOT these days....
The following is shared with full permission by a very brave mom who I recently coached.
She shared with me how afraid she was of her daughter and the distance they were experiencing in their relationship. She had a completely different vision of how she thought their relationship should be versus the direction it was heading.
She believed her daughter was difficult.
A belief is a thought you keep on thinking.
It's a thought you keep thinking over and over, until it becomes second-nature.
Most of us aren't aware of our beliefs about other people, other than the general feeling that they're lacking in some way or that they are responsible for making us happy.
Our beliefs will determine how we feel about our life. And they will show up in all of our relationships.
This mom wanted support with her belief in being a good mom. She was brave and courageous as she admitted that being a good mom meant "always knowing what to say" when her daughter would "freak out."
She held the belief,...
This kid. Has been through it all with me.
Isn't that how it tends to be with our caboose kiddos?
He lived at Primary Children's hospital for his first five months with open heart surgery recovery and then complications.
He moved with our family seven times. From Utah to Seattle and back to Utah again.
He's spent endless hours on speech therapy and audiologist appointments to try and understand why he's gradually losing his hearing.
He's shown endless patience as he's eaten lots of ice cream cones in the back seat of the car while I loaded my music gear back and forth for gigs and took him to the babysitters.
He's been my snuggle buddy when Ethan had to travel a lot for work.
He always has a big smile for me when I walk in from the door after a long night of teaching music lessons.
We just found out he has Usher Syndrome. He will most likely go completely deaf (he has severe to profound hearing loss right now)...
I wish I could ask my mom when I was born, what day of the week, what time. A Christmas baby. That's what they used to call me since I was born 2 days after Christmas. But that's all I know. I was adopted at 3 years old along with a Navajo Indian brother a few months older than me, and a Korean sister a couple years younger.
My auntie raised four kids in her lifetime that weren't her own. Her body just wouldn't make baby's even though every fiber of her being ached with the longing of being a mother. But she raised us like we were her own. She knew she was taking on quite a lot. She was doing it for the right reasons, she had so much love to give, and Lord only knows, we had so much love to be needing.
"You aren't my mama! I want my real mom!!" I still remember how red hot my face felt when I hollered those words. I didn't care. I missed my real mama and in my four year old mind, tantrums had become a way of getting what I...
Friends, you will love these Orange Almond Rolls. I make them for General Conference every six months now and my teenage boys love them and love me a little more for making them.
They are a labor of love. But worth it in every way.
I've tweaked Joanna Gaines' recipe from her Magnolia Table Cookbook, which I really enjoy drawing from on a regular basis.
You can use store bought dough to save time, such as Pillsbury crescent rolls, or Rhodes frozen dough. But I like to make them from scratch.
For the Dough:
1 Tbls. yeast granules
1 Cup warm water
2 Tbls. sugar
Proof the yeast for 10 minutes in a silver Kitchenaid bowl. (If you don't have a Kitchenaid, what are you waiting for? Get one as soon as possible. Especially if you have teenagers. Baking is the way to their hearts!)
Add to the yeast mixture:
2 cups milk heated in microwave for 40 ish seconds.
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp salt
8 - 9 cups all-purpose flour, unbleached
Mix in Kitchenaid with bread dough attachment until dough...
In this free mini course, I'll take you through the Emotion Coaching framework I've taught hundreds of moms and dads for cultivating more peace. Plus you'll discover how to shift the 'frustration habit' and parent from a place of trusting yourself more.