All We Can Do, Today

This kid. Has been through it all with me. 

Isn't that how it tends to be with our caboose kiddos?

He lived at Primary Children's hospital for his first five months with open heart surgery recovery and then complications. 

He moved with our family seven times. From Utah to Seattle and back to Utah again. 

He's spent endless hours on speech therapy and audiologist appointments to try and understand why he's gradually losing his hearing. 

He's shown endless patience as he's eaten lots of ice cream cones in the back seat of the car while I loaded my music gear back and forth for gigs and took him to the babysitters.

He's been my snuggle buddy when Ethan had to travel a lot for work.

He always has a big smile for me when I walk in from the door after a long night of teaching music lessons.

We just found out he has Usher Syndrome. He will most likely go completely deaf (he has severe to profound hearing loss right now) along with eventual blindness (he’s lost 30% of his peripheral vision so far.). There is no way of knowing how long it could take to happen. The doctors are saying he might not. But still . . .⠀

I used to dream about him that ONE DAY . . . 

His ears would work better.

He won't have to spend any more time in doctor appointments.

He would drive.

He would marry and become a dad.

This memory is one of those days I look back on with big dreams for him. 

The other night, I wrote a song for him called, 'All We Can Do Today.' 

Right now I'm thinking of the time your heart was broke,

All the folks who prayed you'd somehow make it through,

And I'm amazed because look at you go now,

No one'd ever know how close you came, but you.

I heard it from somewhere we're here to learn and grow

I heard it from somewhere that no one knows for sure

I heard that we can find the answers for ourselves

And that's all we can do

All we can do

All we can do, today

So when the doctors said that soon you'd lose your sight

It was all that I could do to hold the tears

And we drove home as though the world was filled with smoke

All your thirteen years collapsing into night

I heard it from somewhere we're here to learn and grow

I heard it from somewhere that no one knows for sure

I heard that we can find the answers for ourselves

And that's all we can do

All we can do

All we can do, today. 

Echoes of all the words of prophets, poets, priests

Tellin' me to take just one day at a time

And I am humbled thinkin' how you came to be

Be a father, be a brother, be a light

I've heard it from somewhere we're here to learn and grow

I heard it from somewhere that no one knows for sure

I heard that we can find the answers for ourselves

And that's all we can do

All we can do

All we can do, today. 

I can't wait to sing it for you. 

All I can do today is pray for the most gracious outcome possible for him. I believe in grace. I promised God years ago that I would give my all to motherhood. He gave me these amazing kiddos. I pray for them constantly and for those who are in the messy middle.  

Parenting Joseph hasn't looked the same as his older siblings. But that's okay. Nothing has to change in order for our lives to get any better. It's really about the way we interpret the challenges. 

This kid forever has my heart. 

Sending big love to you,

Danielle   xoxo