This past year has been amazing. Lots of growth, lots of new opportunities, lots of goodness. And, it’s also presented a lot of personal challenges in my roles as mother and Life Coach growing a new business.

Even though I’m a Life Coach myself now, I’m still a student learning from my own mentors and coaches, and I’m new to running my own business.  My mentors push me to grow in ways I don’t always want to sometimes and they really know how to get me out of my comfort zone. I love this about them! And, it’s hard.

I learned a cool principle about life from my mentor and Life Coach, Brooke Castillo. It’s called the 50/50 principle.

My students love it when they learn this principle because it generates a lot of relief about realistic expectations toward life and what it means to be human.

50% of the time our brains will react to our circumstances

 and will feel bad. And, 50% of the time,

our brains will...

Almost twenty-two years have gone by since I gave birth to my first born son.

Noah Gabriel Vaughn was born at 11:50 pm on December 6th, 1998 to a younger version of me who had eagerly anticipated being a mother.  He didn't cry when he was born, just a small squeak.  I remember wishing he would cry, but there was just silence mixed with the doctor's hushed instructions for me of what to do next.

"Is he still alive? Is he okay?" I knew he wasn't okay. But I wanted some sort of re-assurance that all was not completely lost.  The doctor said, "Yes, he's still alive, but it won't be long judging by his color."

"Can I see him? Can I hold him yet?" It seemed like an eternity before he was finally placed in my arms.

He was beautiful.

He was perfect.

To me.

He looked just like me, lots of fuzzy ginger blonde hair that grew low on his forehead, little ski-jump nose that turned up on the end, a tiny, round chin, and square face.

This kid. Has been through it all with me. 

Isn't that how it tends to be with our caboose kiddos?

He lived at Primary Children's hospital for his first five months with open heart surgery recovery and then complications. 

He moved with our family seven times. From Utah to Seattle and back to Utah again. 

He's spent endless hours on speech therapy and audiologist appointments to try and understand why he's gradually losing his hearing. 

He's shown endless patience as he's eaten lots of ice cream cones in the back seat of the car while I loaded my music gear back and forth for gigs and took him to the babysitters.

He's been my snuggle buddy when Ethan had to travel a lot for work.

He always has a big smile for me when I walk in from the door after a long night of teaching music lessons.

We just found out he has Usher Syndrome. He will most likely go completely deaf (he has severe to profound hearing loss right now)...

I take my golden retriever out for a walk in the foothills almost every day. The leaves are gorgeous right now. They have lived their lives. A good life.

Made me think a lot about my own progression and how I’m entering the fall season of my own life.
It’s tricky navigating getting older in our current culture focused on youth and unrealistic beauty standards. If I place all my value on being pretty, then where does that leave me when beauty fades?
the falling leaves drift by my window

the falling leaves of red and gold

I see your lips the summer kisses

the sun-burned hands I used to hold.

On my hike this morning I thought about how the fallen leaves are showing me an important cycle on embracing change, surrendering, and knowing there will be renewal again in another season. We will make a beautiful comeback when we’re ready. Mother Nature knows what she’s doing.

When I read the magazine headlines after my hike as I stood in line at the...