Difficult People

I do a LOT of relationship coaching. Makes sense, right? It’s one of the most important aspects of our lives, healthy relationships. So let’s dive into this.

 Why bother with this relationship?

Here’s a question that I’ve wondered, and I hear my clients ask sometimes too – especially when the relationship just seems so challenging, so much work to maintain, we ask ourselves, “why bother with this relationship anyway?”

Let’s address it in the context of marriage. Why bother with getting married, or staying married, when you know – either first hand, or from watching other people – how difficult marriage is?

Relationships & Expectations 

I think it’s really easy to get confused about what marriage is for. I see this all the time. And I know it all too well, from my own experience of being married for twenty-seven years. 

We come into marriage or a committed relationship with...

I just celebrated my twenty year wedding anniversary. Can you believe it? Neither can I for how fast it's gone by.  I married when I was nineteen, much to the chagrin of my dear mom.  But when you know you've found a keeper, what do you do? You hold on for the ride and you don't look down lest vertigo kicks in.  That's what I did while keeping my gaze steady towards the stars. 

I took dating very seriously.  Probably too serious, looking back.  But I knew I didn't want to waste anybody's time (or money) when I already knew I wasn't looking for anything long term just yet. I believed in being honest and upfront with the guys I went out with.  Besides, commitment was risky business.

My childhood was fraught with love gone awry.  One of my earliest memories I have is with my step dad's arm around the babysitter in the front seat while taking her home.  I must have been barely three at the time, but I remember thinking how my mom (this...