Not sure what to do about the school year yet? Are you spinning in confusion about what to do – home learning or send them?
We’re in the same boat over here … on the one hand it’s my son’s senior year in high school and he loves his friends, he’s really missed them, he loves his extra-curricular activities – swim team, debate team, and chamber orchestra; all of those are up in the air.
My 14 year old, he loves getting out of the house and seeing his friends too, school has always been about the friends and change of scene for him, so we’re figuring things out.
But I wanted to tell you our story of how we homeschooled for seven years, why we chose to public school when we did, and some of the lessons we’ve learned from our experience in hopes of helping you decide.
I cannot tell you that homeschool was ever ‘easy’ and that it’s for everyone, mainly because there is a heightened sense of responsibility we take on for our children in wanting them to do well and be prepared for their futures. There's also a pressure that moms take on for their children to keep up. But all of that pressure is a choice, meaning you don't have to let it weigh you down.
Which brings me to my first point: Truth Number One: Don't compare yourself or your children to other moms and other families.
Always ask yourself how you can make it fun. I can tell you that homeschooling opened the door to me and my kids having a lot of fun together. We lived in Seattle at the time, which has so many fun libraries, museums, farmer’s markets, berry farms, different beaches, different places to hike in enchanted forests, different places to drive and make day trips to, etc. Looking back, I have no regrets with all of our adventures. Weave fun activities into your week. Ask your kids what interests they have and run with it. We spent a lot of time in the Lego store – always our fallback go-to for adventure day, my kids loved that place.
This leads to my second point, or truth: Think in terms of a gentle routine versus a daily schedule.
You aren't trying to recreate the classroom in your homeschool environment. You have so much more flexibility. We built in a lot of breaks. We had frozen yogurt breaks one day a week, a neighborhood walk break another day, and a whole day dedicated to Adventure Day – which brings me to my next truth.
Truth Number Three: You don't have to be all things to your children. Gather a rich support network of other mentors.
I found that my children were eager to learn things they were interested in. And that is part of the magic of homeschool to be expanded upon.
This brings up the question of discipline and subjects kids aren't enthused about, like maybe math. Here's another story: When my daughter was in sixth grade, she and I had a two hour fight one day over why the decimal can’t move – she knew intuitively how the decimal is a fixed place holder, but as I was showing her to ‘move the decimal’ when you get to the end of the multiplication, she would freak out and ask why. My math brain learned all the tricks to get to the answer fast when I was in school, I never cared about learning the ‘why’. But my daughter loves the why, and so I learned that either I had to level up with my understanding, or find a math mentor who could give her what she wanted. I chose the latter, and we love that math mentor to this day – my daughter is twenty years old now and is awesome at math. The lesson from that is – delegate or find other resources to supplement things that you don’t want or have time to become the expert on. I did this in all kinds of areas for my kids and it saved my sanity.
Which leads to Truth Number Four - discipline: Establish a tone of respect in the home and stick to a consistent reward system. For us, it was play after quality work was done.
Truth Number Five: Expect some bad days, but don't make them mean you are a bad mom.
It’s important to believe in yourself as a mom, even as you are reading this, if you are thinking things like, “well she’s a unicorn,” or “yeah, I’m not like that at all. . . “ No. Try to get really clear on your own strengths as a mom and ground yourself in that energy. I saw a lot of moms around me who were amazing at other things – like, their kids all could sew and were in training to be professional ballerinas, or were on the comp soccer teams, and none of that aligned with my kiddos interests, or mine, so I had to manage my mind and head space and drop all the self-doubt. When I did, that’s when our little homeschool really took off. Some of you know my kids are big into music like I’ve always been, well that’s no accident, right? I mean, because of homeschool, I was able to dedicate time to mentoring them in their interests – none of them are pianists or singers like me, but they had the time and the freedom to try other instruments, those things that called to them, then commit to what resonated with them.
So that’s just the tip of the iceberg of some things I learned from homeschooling my children. It was the best decision for us at the time. And so is public school right now, honestly – we’ve learned to be flexible, then stick to the general plan of what we decide.
One of my coaching clients, Kindle Garner of The Intuitive Homeschool (click on the link and check out her offerings) is an amazing supportive mom to other home based learning moms. If you are seriously considering keeping your children at home for now, connect with her!
There’s no right or wrong answer with what you decide. Whatever you choose is the best decision for the time, and when you think that way, then you can have your own back with making decisions and stop any second-guessing.
I wish someone would have told me these truths when I first started, so I wanted to share them with you. If you have questions, let's talk over Zoom, don’t hesitate at all, I love to answer questions. I know tons of mamas who do homeschool, and I have tons of tips on resources – so maybe that’s another blog for another day. But in the meantime, I hope you know how lucky your kids are to have YOU as their mom.
Love you all,
Danielle xo
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