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Dealing with Criticism

Friends,

I’ve had to learn how to handle criticism in the realm of singing, songwriting, classical piano performance, jazz piano and yoga instructing.

 

It’s never been easy.

 

Have you ever been criticized for something you’ve worked hard toward, only to be judged or spoken of in harsh ways?

 

How is it that one person who says, “that sucks,” can cancel out one hundred people who absolutely adore what you’ve made?

 

Even just one hater can send us into questioning everything.

 

It’s common and I know this doesn’t happen to just me.

 

The truth is, the more I’ve put myself out there, the more I’ve entered the arena, the more criticism has come my way.

 

I’ve had to really work on establishing a healthy self-concept and mindset around criticism.

 

As humans, there’s always the tendency to think critically (or critically think - which aren't the same thing) and find ways to differ with others who don’t align with our values – but we have to learn how to stop caring what EVERYONE thinks and focus on what we think about ourselves.

 

This means learning to let go and ignore.

 

Ignore the noise.

 

And hone in on your inner voice, your inner spark, and get really clear with your reasons for doing what you’re doing.

 

I call it my WHY – my reasons I enter the arena.

 

My WHY has everything to do with honoring my gifts, sharing them and making the world a better place, helping people with a full heart, and living without regrets.

 

I don’t ever want to look back and think I could have done more with the talents I’ve been given, or with giving my all to raising my children, or with saying yes to learning and growth.

 

I’ve had to learn to toughen up and adopt a thicker skin.

 

I could easily argue that I have a very thin skin. And I mean, biologically speaking, a thin epidermal layer.  My skin sunburns in the shade, freckles, and literally crawls with any thought of evil or harm or danger.  

 

My skin also chills and shivers at the slightest temperature change and is super ticklish.

 

But even so, none of that matters. What matters is how I manage my brain around the reactivity of sensory input my skin receives whenever it senses a threat. And since I’m most likely not in any real harm or danger, I have to tell my brain what it should think, which is usually something like, “calm the hell down girl.”

 

Having a thicker skin involves knowing how to keep my feet firmly planted on principles I believe in. Principles that endure the test of time:  

  • God wouldn’t put a dream in my heart if He didn’t know I had everything inside of me to accomplish it.
  • It’s more important to value growth and learning over comfort and certainty.
  • The pursuit of happiness comes with its fair share of discomfort, and I’m all in for all of it.
  • I'm not for everyone.

 

When I feel discouraged from other people’s criticism, I have to remind myself of the above beliefs I hold dear.

 

After I spend time coming home again to these beliefs and doing some self-coaching, I always feel better.

 

Because we create our own feelings based on our thoughts. No one can really hurt us with their criticism. It’s important to keep this in mind – the fact that we are in charge of what we think and what we feel.

 

When all is said and done, no matter who criticizes me or my music or what I’m doing, I know that I’m not going anywhere, I am here to stay until the very end!

 

Tell yourself the same thing when you’re pursuing the life of your dreams. It will get you through the hard times and see you to the finish line. 

 

And remember, I’m always here cheering you on, too.

 

We’ve got this.

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